Proud Receipient of New Home

I recently visited a worksite where a young mother was all smiles as she worked diligently to help complete the construction of her home.  Alongside her has been many volunteers who have been working tirelessly for the last several weeks to complete the construction of Habitat for Humanity’s Veterans Build 2008.  She is a Veteran who had applied nearly two years ago and now her dreams of owning her own home is coming true.  I went by so I could see the progress and learn a little more about how I could get involved.  Apparently there will another Veteran’s build in the Spring of 2009 which I hope (Lord willing) to be major contributor in seeing this project become a reality.  It will take $70,000 to complete the next build. 

Jesus said concerning his disciples, the world will know who you are ”by your fruit,” or said another way by how you live and what you do with your life.  I have committed my life to show the love of Christ to the military community.  The opportunity to help a fellow veteran own their own home is exciting and gives me an opportunity to make difference.  This is what every person should strive to do.  It doesn’t take alot of time or alot of money necessarily, it just takes being aware of your surroundings and looking for opportunites as they come your way. The first step is being willing.

I was reminded of the words from the Bible which say “we reap what we sow.”  Whatever led him to make this awful decision, he will have to deal with the fall-out from his decision.  But there was a positive twist in this story.  I was encouraged to hear that one of the reasons he chose to admit to his guilt was because he wanted to set a good example for his son on what to do when someone makes a bad decision.  One of the pillars of living a life worth living is making a difference with our lives.  While the decision to embezzle funds was clearly wrong, he made the right decision to come clean and deal positively with whatever punishment is given.  I believe that God allows situations into our lives in order to teach us and help us become better human beings.  As the Bible says, “all things happen for our good.”  The good in this situation won’t be just for a former Sheriff, it will also be for a son who will now be able to learn that with authority comes responsibility and when authority is abused there are consequences.  I just wish that more people in authority could learn this lesson!

“The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their state of mind”—William James

I cannot imagine being diagnosed with a disease that would one day cause me to not be able to walk, talk or even breathe on my own. This happened to a good friend of mine, Matt White who was diagnosed with ALS, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease in January 2000. His story has encouraged thousands of people. I am including a portion of Matt’s amazing story so that you can learn what is helping him get through a very challenging time in his life. If you’re hoping to catch a glimpse of how to successfully live a life worth living, then I encourage you to read on, and hear from someone who has discovered one of the secrets to achieve this life—a winning attitude.

“As human beings, people of free will, it is the choices we make that most influence who we are, what we are, what will happen to us, and how we’ll handle it. There are many types of choices we make everyday like Letterman or Leno, paper or plastic, pepperoni, sausage or both. There are also important decisions to make such as who to marry, where to work and how to raise our children. It’s the choices that make things happen. Choices put everything we have and everything we are into action. This is especially true with regard to one’s abilities and talents. Everyone has them but the real choice is how effectively they are used. In my case I was blessed with the physical and mental gifts of a strong body and mind. I was positive and optimistic about life. To be honest, it was easy then because everything was going well. I had a stable and supportive family. I used my talents to become a star athlete and received a good education. I had lots of friends, a nice house, a nice car, and a great career. But what would I do if that were all to change? How would I respond? The answer to those questions came in January 2000 when I was diagnosed with ALS, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease.ALS is a fatal degenerative neuromuscular disease that affects the synapse between the voluntary muscles and the nerves that control them. Eventually all of the body’s voluntary muscles atrophy and fail. Ultimately each person with ALS dies when their diaphragm stops working and they stop breathing. When diagnosed ALS patients are told the same thing Lou Gehrig was told more than 60 years ago- ALS has no known cause, no treatment, and no cure. It has been almost eight years since I was told these things and the only way I’ve gotten through those years is by choosing to live with a winning attitude. I first had weakness in my left hand and gradually lost the use of my hands, arms and legs. I also began to have difficulty breathing, speaking and swallowing. Within four years of my diagnosis I got food through a stomach tube, air from a ventilator and was entirely dependent on the people around me for my comfort and safety. Now my speech is nearly unintelligible and I’m able to move my head a little from side to side. I’m kept alive now because of the ventilator and tracheotomy that will accompany me for the rest of my life. As my muscles continue to weaken, we make adaptive changes to help improve my quality of life. The ventilator that does my breathing is about the size of a toaster, and is just about as easy to operate. It runs on an 8 hour battery and straps to the back of my wheelchair. A wireless laptop attached to my wheelchair accompanies me nearly everywhere. With a slight movement of my head the computer talks for me, reads to me, turns on and adjusts household appliances, TV’s and stereos, does my typing and keeps me totally connected with the world. If I want to hop in the pool I get into a floating chair I designed and if I want to go boating I strap my wheel chair to a lift and drop right in for a ride. I’ve invented 3 different fishing reels that I can operate almost entirely by myself using only the blink of one eye. Much of my time is spent fishing, a passion that has easily replaced my love for playing golf. Knowing what I faced after my diagnosis I had to decide what to do with the time I had left. By choosing to live with a winning attitude, I decided to control as much of my future as I could and to make the most of this negative. The first four years I did what most would call “lived with ALS.” I worked as long as I could at a job that I loved, trying to make a valuable contribution. I traveled and spent time with family and friends, doing my favorite things; including playing golf at each of the top 10 golf courses in the United States I created a charitable foundation, and with the generous support of so many colleagues and friends, helped raise more than $300,000 for ALS research. I spent time reading and praying, seeking greater faith, peace of mind, and courage to face the day when I would stop breathing and die. I lived life like the end was nearing. Ultimately, I gave up driving, golfing, walking, eating, and the independence of bathing and dressing myself. I left Chicago and moved to Florida to be near my parents in my final months. I felt good about my life and what I’d done in the recent years. After my life was extended with the ventilator I’ve continued to live with a winning attitude. My favorite thing to do is spend time with my wife shartrina doing just about anything we want. We fish, work on our trees and plants, garden in and around our home, watch movies, entertain visitors and go on trips. I also find ways to enjoy myself without needing to use the physical strength I once needed for my favorite hobbies. We live in a pristine area of Southwest Florida that has a tremendous variety and abundance of fish. Within minutes we can be fishing in the gulf or on the grass flats that surround this area. I have become pretty good as an on-line scrabble player and enjoy the challenge of research and speculation in the stock market. It’s been almost four years since I came home from the hospital on the ventilator, and it seems that every week the quality of my life improves. I have discovered that by choosing to be positive, not focusing on what I can’t control but only on what I can, I’m able to do nearly everything I want to do, limited only by my desire and my imagination. It’s the same thing anyone with a winning attitude can do.”

–The Bible says, “as a man thinketh in his heart, so he is”

At our Hedrick Thanksgiving dinner 2007 I instituted a new practice of putting everyone’s name in the hat (adults and children) and then passing the hat around so everyone could pick a name. Once a name was picked each person would say something they were thankful for about that person. I didn’t know how it would go over but once it got started I knew I had started something special. There were a few tears and a few choked up moments but it became a very special moment for everyone to share. Why? Because it allowed everyone an opportunity to hear something special about each person in the room and it allowed the person saying something they were thankful for an opportunity to get their minds in the right frame of mind and practice something that will move them down the road to living a life worth living.

This is the time of year when most people are reminded about the importance of being thankful. As a father of three young children, I am probably more conscious of this issue because raising children in today’s often thankless and “self” centered culture is a tremendous challenge, especially for parents who try to teach the importance of being thankful. Now with Christmas right around the corner, the pressure of buying gifts for people who aren’t very thankful in the first place is not very appealing.

My encouragement is that if you want to start living a life worth living, then embracing a winning attitude is a must. You can start doing this by a daily habit of being thankful. Because the more you do, the more you will be able to manage (i.e. in your mind) life’s ups and downs. Here are a few keys to remember about the importance of being thankful:

1. Being thankful (or rather lack of) reveals “growth areas”

If you’ve ever been around someone who is not very thankful you know that this is not an admirable quality. If you or someone you know is not very thankful (e.g. not saying thank you when a gift is received or when someone holds the door open to enter a restaurant), this usually means there is a bigger issue that needs to be addressed—for example a growth in one’s character. This is usually the type of person who operates with a frame of mind that the world does or should operate around them. Whether spoken or not, this is usually their perspective on how life should operate. So the good news is that we can better determine “growth areas” (particularly in our children) by whether someone’s life is characterized by being thankful. Remember, we are not born into this world to serve ourselves; rather we were born to serve others.

2. Being thankful reinforces good behavior

When I first suggested the idea of passing the hat around I had a few people (particularly a few of the kids) not very excited about the idea. But after it got going, their thoughts about this new practice slowly started to change. Why? Because they saw the smiles and joy it brought the people who received and who were expressing their thanks. If you’ve ever been part of an organized sports team, you know that a good coach prepares his team for a successful season by practicing the right way of how to do something (e.g. tackling, shooting, and pitching) over and over again. Practicing something the right way teaches good behavior (the type a coach wants to see) and in time becomes a normal and natural response. If any member of a team can respond to any given situation on a playing field in the right way, naturally without thought, the coach has done their job. This is the same for being thankful. Daily practice of being thankful teaches good behavior and time it will come naturally without thought. One suggestion is to make it your goal to personally thank 3 people a day. It could be your children, neighbor, family member, co-worker, spouse, pastor or boss. If you aren’t able to do three start with one. The key is not the number but rather the daily practice of training yourself with a consistent behavior of doing the right thing. In time this will become a natural and normal response.

3. Being thankful re-focuses our perspective

It’s too easy to take the abundance of what we have in this country for granted. If you’ve ever traveled abroad you quickly learn how blessed we are in the United States. I especially saw this from my time in Iraq.  Having seen young kids walking along the road with bare feet amidst trash, broken glass and sewage, I was quickly reminded how fortunate we are in the United States. I think about all the toys being purchased this month totaling billions of dollars and then in a couple of months those same toys are often discarded for what is described as the newest “must have” toy. With this in mind, being thankful is especially important because it helps us become more appreciative of what we do have rather than always focusing on what we “think” we need. Becoming a thankful person helps us better appreciate what we already have and it helps us be more appreciative of those who give us so much (e.g. God, parents, family, co-workers, boss, neighbors, friends….etc). The Bible says to “be thankful in all circumstances.” This is not always easy to accomplish but it has proven for me to be the best choice for being able to have a winning attitude that allows me to most effectively manage (in my mind) life’s ups and downs.